im not fat, im american.

i have decided that if i ever write a book about my cross cultural experiences that, that might be the title. unless its already taken. anyways, so i haven't updated this in awhile and i think maybe i finally have a solid reason to do so. this weekend i think was one of the most cross cultural experiences i have had maybe since ive arrived here.

now i guess i should explain how i am defining cultural experiences....well, i was just made very aware of my american-ness and my eyes were open to some issues that maybe others go through. i mean to be perfectly honest ive had a great time here. everyone has been absolutely amazing to me and i have had the blessing to meet the best people in korea! :) so i have had no complaints, no reasons to be upset, and everything blended so well. well i mean it still does, anyways...

so this past weekend my friend sanghoon planned on outing since we had a 3 day weekend. this kid has been talking about doing this since i first met him. only finally did we have the man power (and i mean enough guys and girls to not make it awkward) to take a long trip. so he picked out some places he loved and planned all the details. so sanghoon, me, nesbitt, toker and big mike headed out to a temple near Punggi in Yeonju. i was nervous about this only because i always get nervous when there is a minority, in this case sanghoon being such.

so we had to take a bus at 7:30 in the morning for two hours from seoul to punggi. once we get on the bus, we have some seats right in front of the very back row. sweet. so big mike takes a seat along the back row next to two ajummas (old ladies) and granted there is a reason we call big mike, big mike. he is very tall and very big. and cute and cuddly as a teddy bear. reminds me of my high school friend phil lewis. an awesome guy who's got your back in any sort of trouble! anyways, he takes a seat in the back row, leaving plenty of room, there is no problem. when one of the ajummas starts sputtering off in korean which i don't understand but then she gestures and i totally understand what her gestures mean. i read body language pretty well, and she wasn't being very subtle or nice about it at all. i could not believe what was happening. so she starts talking to sanghoon in korea and i know she is telling him that big mike is too big and needs to sit somewhere else. but she continues to do this COMPLETELY rude gesture -i dont care who you are! it was rude! i turn to her and im like, "ajumma? why? hes is a good guy." in my best korean. and she does the gesture again. and i was instantaneously fuming - im fuming right now as i write about it. what? what? are you kidding me?

and i know that i am in south korea where age is everything and you respect your elder. so maybe because of that this ajumma felt she could talk about my friend in that manner and not deal with anyone giving her any crap. and i tell you, shes lucky that sanghoon was there and i dont know more korean because i was, as i said, fuming. actually i think she would have gotten my point without any korean. i could told her straight up. but luckily for her sanghoon was there....(for those of you who know my zanizbar story - this ranks pretty close in my intensity. im not exaggerating, is what i mean) then sanghoon after chatting with ajumma turns to me and says that big mike can go sit in the front of the bus if there are some free seats once we get going. "what?" i know sanghoon was trying to help the situation but i quickly became more pissed off and my english became faster.
"no, big mike will not go to the front of the bus to sit just because she has a problem with him. no. do you think he wants to sit in the front by himself? really? no, she can deal with it. he's not bothering her."
some more korean was said back and forth and sanghoon and big mike switched seats. i went to writing in my journal as the steam continued to pour out of my ears.


some mistakes i did make in this situation i realized as i was discussing this with yanny today, is that the situation was not "korean culture" as i first labeled it. what a horrible thought that i said almost right on the spot its us versus them. what a terrifying thought. no yanny said that is not korean culture, that is rude. the reason i did make the assumption of korean culture is becuase of the age thing. in america we would have fought regardless of age. and in america many people have no respect for their elders. yes, yes. this i know. so its a give and take or a lose lose battle. i dont know.

but one thought that crossed my egotistical american mind, is that i don't care if you are old, or young, as long as you are a human there are basic rights that i respect and i try not to offend you and i do not have the right to offend you because of my place in life or age. on that same note, it doesnt matter how old you are or your place in life, i dont have to respect you because you are human and so am i. two ways of looking at the same coin.

i wonder how i would feel if i had these type of encounters frequently while living here in korea. or anywhere really....

this is not the end of my learning experience. and let me just say learning hurts. i am still hurting and sensitive because of some things that happened. and maybe i am overly so...i dont know. i guess i just compare my past times hanging out with koreans and then sanghoons time hanging out with americans and i just think....wow, (forgive me for saying this) but what a jerk i am! and granted again yanny said that this is not american culture as i decided to just label everything that way. american culture is not rude its just different. hmmm, well ill keep my hurts to myself and aim to learn what i can from my korean friends who make me feel good and safe when i am with them. i hope i can share that with others in my own american way.


i guess i have a lot more experiences from this weekend but for now this is enough. this was the biggest one, the hardest one that i trying to swallow. trying to look at again and again and pull out of it what i can. what can i learn? what can i see? what happened here? how do i feel? and remembering that one experience does not label the whole culture...and even if it did, really, ive had so many amazing occurences, that one makes no difference. :)