korean wedding - this is the first time ive seen strobe lights at a wedding! awesome! but after the white dress and black tux part they have "pyebaek" which is the traditional ceremony. the husband and wife come decked out in the traditional gear! its sooooooooooooooooooo gorgeous! then they pour i guess soju or something like that for each of the parents. then the husband's parents throw jujube beans and chestnuts to the husband and wife who have a fabric that they are to catch the nuts in. the chestnuts are baby girls and the jujubes are baby boys. so traditional thought, is that the amount of nuts you catch represent the children you will have. suzy and her husband...i only know him as space man.....um, they caught 7 chestnuts. hahaha his parents were not so happy. then her parents gave an envelope of money. and then i guess, i missed this part suzy and space man take some kind of nut...um, i dont remember, maybe chestnut and they both bite it and pull away - like a turkey bone - whats the name of that? you break it and the bigger piece gets good luck?!? oh man....anyways, whoever gets the seed in the nut they get the envelop with the money. wow. im sorry. english is my second language.
anyways, it was awesome! such a beautiful ceremony. and i just love the pictures i have seen :)
also interesting suzy and her family are very strong catholics and space man's parents are strong buddhists. so the ceremony was nonreligious. interesting. i think. so really i think this was my first nonchristian wedding. yeah i really think so. i know aunt gwen got married by the justice of the peace but i didnt go to that. it was a cool experience. and i just adore vivi and q so anytime with them is a blast - and insik and inhay. cool people.
at field day today one thing i had to do besides dance on command with anyone and everyone, but also they made a big circle of all the parents and they had to make one of those huge balls go around and around the circle. then they put a person in this circle and they have to try and hit you with the ball. so i ran as the parents tried to knock me down with a giant ball. how much fun is that. :)
and one of the guys working field day said that i am dancing queen- mama mia. i dance like the actress in that movie. so i guess i have to see that. im always intrigued when people tell me i look like someone. sometimes it makes sense. cameron diaz. i am come on. im hot. hahaha really what i meant is that i have a really big mouth, especially when i laugh. she does too. ok. then my boss said i look like the chick from wicker park. ive never seen it. but apparently i look like her. or maybe i just have brown hair and i sling my bag over my shoulder. i dont know. haha.
so Vivi asks me this riddle - you have a monkey, a snake and a bird. you need to get these 3 animals and yourself out to this bisland. how would you do it? don't be serious, and you can take each animal at a time. just use your imagination. think it in your head, and when your ready scroll down.
(sorry if my explanation is not very good.)
well, i said i would have the bird fly me to the island. then i would put the snake in my pocket and swim over. and the monkey i would put on my back.
each animal represents a part of your life. so the bird are your children, or future children. then the snake is money. and the monkey is your future or current spouse.
its really interesting to hear peoples responses and then what the animals mean. vivi put a rope around the monkey and dragged it to the island to make sure it didn't escape. hahaha...suzy had the snake around her neck to swim to the island. just thought provoking, i think. please share your results. :)
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
things that make you move
so this morning at like 9am i was walking to rugby practice which is like 10 min from subway station to park next to a big road. and then i see this white car stop and the driver jumps out and tells the person around him to just go around. not the driver was an african american man with some miami dolphins gear on or something. and then an african american woman jumped out of the car decked out as well. now i contemplated what do to do as i slowly walked and watched the scene in my flipflops with my bags over my arms...i really wanted to go help these two - he was attempting to push the car now to do a Uturn as the oncoming traffic got the green light. i couldnt make it out there...and what would i do? horrible reasoning....
but i just (sadly) kept on walking and observing and i noticed a group of museum security guards watching the scene as well. about 10 guys. and i thought! go help them! haha, as i walk to practice...and i kept on walking, and then i turned around and saw the coolest thing. so a car coming in the opposite direction full of a bunch of i guess african american guys saw the guy trying to push his car. they immediately pulled over and all 4 of them jumped out, helped him move his car. and before i knew it they were on their way.
it almost brought a tear to my eye.i love random acts of kindness.
i need to work on including them in my regime.
but i just (sadly) kept on walking and observing and i noticed a group of museum security guards watching the scene as well. about 10 guys. and i thought! go help them! haha, as i walk to practice...and i kept on walking, and then i turned around and saw the coolest thing. so a car coming in the opposite direction full of a bunch of i guess african american guys saw the guy trying to push his car. they immediately pulled over and all 4 of them jumped out, helped him move his car. and before i knew it they were on their way.
it almost brought a tear to my eye.i love random acts of kindness.
i need to work on including them in my regime.
Monday, October 6, 2008
eternally optomistic
so i can't just leave my blog like that! so funny story...or maybe you have to be there. either way.
every morning when i go to panda class i usually just walk in but the students always say "amber teacher! knock knock!" ok, ok, so i go back to the door and knock, "whos there?" "amber teacher!" which then i either get "come in!" or "don't come in" which i allow because they used to say "no come in" and i told them too bad! learn better english! so i taught them "don't come in" and respect if they tell me that. good way to waste classtime - but also aren't we supposed to teach our children to say no and have adults respect our boundaries. :)
so its before classes start and im sitting at my desk organizing some papers and making sure i am ready for the morning classes and some of the students from panda class are getting some water to drink. so on of the students, danny, goes back into panda class he knocks on the door.
"knock knock"
"who's there?"
"amber teacher" and he cracks up! and me sitting there just about start rolling on the ground. he had no idea i was right over there until he heard me laughing. so now that is the on going joke and i'll hear that about 12 times a day.
as a nice rebuttal when i knocked on the door this morning and when asked "whos there" i said "danny." and we all had a good laugh. :)
every morning when i go to panda class i usually just walk in but the students always say "amber teacher! knock knock!" ok, ok, so i go back to the door and knock, "whos there?" "amber teacher!" which then i either get "come in!" or "don't come in" which i allow because they used to say "no come in" and i told them too bad! learn better english! so i taught them "don't come in" and respect if they tell me that. good way to waste classtime - but also aren't we supposed to teach our children to say no and have adults respect our boundaries. :)
so its before classes start and im sitting at my desk organizing some papers and making sure i am ready for the morning classes and some of the students from panda class are getting some water to drink. so on of the students, danny, goes back into panda class he knocks on the door.
"knock knock"
"who's there?"
"amber teacher" and he cracks up! and me sitting there just about start rolling on the ground. he had no idea i was right over there until he heard me laughing. so now that is the on going joke and i'll hear that about 12 times a day.
as a nice rebuttal when i knocked on the door this morning and when asked "whos there" i said "danny." and we all had a good laugh. :)
im not fat, im american.
i have decided that if i ever write a book about my cross cultural experiences that, that might be the title. unless its already taken. anyways, so i haven't updated this in awhile and i think maybe i finally have a solid reason to do so. this weekend i think was one of the most cross cultural experiences i have had maybe since ive arrived here.
now i guess i should explain how i am defining cultural experiences....well, i was just made very aware of my american-ness and my eyes were open to some issues that maybe others go through. i mean to be perfectly honest ive had a great time here. everyone has been absolutely amazing to me and i have had the blessing to meet the best people in korea! :) so i have had no complaints, no reasons to be upset, and everything blended so well. well i mean it still does, anyways...
so this past weekend my friend sanghoon planned on outing since we had a 3 day weekend. this kid has been talking about doing this since i first met him. only finally did we have the man power (and i mean enough guys and girls to not make it awkward) to take a long trip. so he picked out some places he loved and planned all the details. so sanghoon, me, nesbitt, toker and big mike headed out to a temple near Punggi in Yeonju. i was nervous about this only because i always get nervous when there is a minority, in this case sanghoon being such.
so we had to take a bus at 7:30 in the morning for two hours from seoul to punggi. once we get on the bus, we have some seats right in front of the very back row. sweet. so big mike takes a seat along the back row next to two ajummas (old ladies) and granted there is a reason we call big mike, big mike. he is very tall and very big. and cute and cuddly as a teddy bear. reminds me of my high school friend phil lewis. an awesome guy who's got your back in any sort of trouble! anyways, he takes a seat in the back row, leaving plenty of room, there is no problem. when one of the ajummas starts sputtering off in korean which i don't understand but then she gestures and i totally understand what her gestures mean. i read body language pretty well, and she wasn't being very subtle or nice about it at all. i could not believe what was happening. so she starts talking to sanghoon in korea and i know she is telling him that big mike is too big and needs to sit somewhere else. but she continues to do this COMPLETELY rude gesture -i dont care who you are! it was rude! i turn to her and im like, "ajumma? why? hes is a good guy." in my best korean. and she does the gesture again. and i was instantaneously fuming - im fuming right now as i write about it. what? what? are you kidding me?
and i know that i am in south korea where age is everything and you respect your elder. so maybe because of that this ajumma felt she could talk about my friend in that manner and not deal with anyone giving her any crap. and i tell you, shes lucky that sanghoon was there and i dont know more korean because i was, as i said, fuming. actually i think she would have gotten my point without any korean. i could told her straight up. but luckily for her sanghoon was there....(for those of you who know my zanizbar story - this ranks pretty close in my intensity. im not exaggerating, is what i mean) then sanghoon after chatting with ajumma turns to me and says that big mike can go sit in the front of the bus if there are some free seats once we get going. "what?" i know sanghoon was trying to help the situation but i quickly became more pissed off and my english became faster.
"no, big mike will not go to the front of the bus to sit just because she has a problem with him. no. do you think he wants to sit in the front by himself? really? no, she can deal with it. he's not bothering her."
some more korean was said back and forth and sanghoon and big mike switched seats. i went to writing in my journal as the steam continued to pour out of my ears.
some mistakes i did make in this situation i realized as i was discussing this with yanny today, is that the situation was not "korean culture" as i first labeled it. what a horrible thought that i said almost right on the spot its us versus them. what a terrifying thought. no yanny said that is not korean culture, that is rude. the reason i did make the assumption of korean culture is becuase of the age thing. in america we would have fought regardless of age. and in america many people have no respect for their elders. yes, yes. this i know. so its a give and take or a lose lose battle. i dont know.
but one thought that crossed my egotistical american mind, is that i don't care if you are old, or young, as long as you are a human there are basic rights that i respect and i try not to offend you and i do not have the right to offend you because of my place in life or age. on that same note, it doesnt matter how old you are or your place in life, i dont have to respect you because you are human and so am i. two ways of looking at the same coin.
i wonder how i would feel if i had these type of encounters frequently while living here in korea. or anywhere really....
this is not the end of my learning experience. and let me just say learning hurts. i am still hurting and sensitive because of some things that happened. and maybe i am overly so...i dont know. i guess i just compare my past times hanging out with koreans and then sanghoons time hanging out with americans and i just think....wow, (forgive me for saying this) but what a jerk i am! and granted again yanny said that this is not american culture as i decided to just label everything that way. american culture is not rude its just different. hmmm, well ill keep my hurts to myself and aim to learn what i can from my korean friends who make me feel good and safe when i am with them. i hope i can share that with others in my own american way.
i guess i have a lot more experiences from this weekend but for now this is enough. this was the biggest one, the hardest one that i trying to swallow. trying to look at again and again and pull out of it what i can. what can i learn? what can i see? what happened here? how do i feel? and remembering that one experience does not label the whole culture...and even if it did, really, ive had so many amazing occurences, that one makes no difference. :)
now i guess i should explain how i am defining cultural experiences....well, i was just made very aware of my american-ness and my eyes were open to some issues that maybe others go through. i mean to be perfectly honest ive had a great time here. everyone has been absolutely amazing to me and i have had the blessing to meet the best people in korea! :) so i have had no complaints, no reasons to be upset, and everything blended so well. well i mean it still does, anyways...
so this past weekend my friend sanghoon planned on outing since we had a 3 day weekend. this kid has been talking about doing this since i first met him. only finally did we have the man power (and i mean enough guys and girls to not make it awkward) to take a long trip. so he picked out some places he loved and planned all the details. so sanghoon, me, nesbitt, toker and big mike headed out to a temple near Punggi in Yeonju. i was nervous about this only because i always get nervous when there is a minority, in this case sanghoon being such.
so we had to take a bus at 7:30 in the morning for two hours from seoul to punggi. once we get on the bus, we have some seats right in front of the very back row. sweet. so big mike takes a seat along the back row next to two ajummas (old ladies) and granted there is a reason we call big mike, big mike. he is very tall and very big. and cute and cuddly as a teddy bear. reminds me of my high school friend phil lewis. an awesome guy who's got your back in any sort of trouble! anyways, he takes a seat in the back row, leaving plenty of room, there is no problem. when one of the ajummas starts sputtering off in korean which i don't understand but then she gestures and i totally understand what her gestures mean. i read body language pretty well, and she wasn't being very subtle or nice about it at all. i could not believe what was happening. so she starts talking to sanghoon in korea and i know she is telling him that big mike is too big and needs to sit somewhere else. but she continues to do this COMPLETELY rude gesture -i dont care who you are! it was rude! i turn to her and im like, "ajumma? why? hes is a good guy." in my best korean. and she does the gesture again. and i was instantaneously fuming - im fuming right now as i write about it. what? what? are you kidding me?
and i know that i am in south korea where age is everything and you respect your elder. so maybe because of that this ajumma felt she could talk about my friend in that manner and not deal with anyone giving her any crap. and i tell you, shes lucky that sanghoon was there and i dont know more korean because i was, as i said, fuming. actually i think she would have gotten my point without any korean. i could told her straight up. but luckily for her sanghoon was there....(for those of you who know my zanizbar story - this ranks pretty close in my intensity. im not exaggerating, is what i mean) then sanghoon after chatting with ajumma turns to me and says that big mike can go sit in the front of the bus if there are some free seats once we get going. "what?" i know sanghoon was trying to help the situation but i quickly became more pissed off and my english became faster.
"no, big mike will not go to the front of the bus to sit just because she has a problem with him. no. do you think he wants to sit in the front by himself? really? no, she can deal with it. he's not bothering her."
some more korean was said back and forth and sanghoon and big mike switched seats. i went to writing in my journal as the steam continued to pour out of my ears.
some mistakes i did make in this situation i realized as i was discussing this with yanny today, is that the situation was not "korean culture" as i first labeled it. what a horrible thought that i said almost right on the spot its us versus them. what a terrifying thought. no yanny said that is not korean culture, that is rude. the reason i did make the assumption of korean culture is becuase of the age thing. in america we would have fought regardless of age. and in america many people have no respect for their elders. yes, yes. this i know. so its a give and take or a lose lose battle. i dont know.
but one thought that crossed my egotistical american mind, is that i don't care if you are old, or young, as long as you are a human there are basic rights that i respect and i try not to offend you and i do not have the right to offend you because of my place in life or age. on that same note, it doesnt matter how old you are or your place in life, i dont have to respect you because you are human and so am i. two ways of looking at the same coin.
i wonder how i would feel if i had these type of encounters frequently while living here in korea. or anywhere really....
this is not the end of my learning experience. and let me just say learning hurts. i am still hurting and sensitive because of some things that happened. and maybe i am overly so...i dont know. i guess i just compare my past times hanging out with koreans and then sanghoons time hanging out with americans and i just think....wow, (forgive me for saying this) but what a jerk i am! and granted again yanny said that this is not american culture as i decided to just label everything that way. american culture is not rude its just different. hmmm, well ill keep my hurts to myself and aim to learn what i can from my korean friends who make me feel good and safe when i am with them. i hope i can share that with others in my own american way.
i guess i have a lot more experiences from this weekend but for now this is enough. this was the biggest one, the hardest one that i trying to swallow. trying to look at again and again and pull out of it what i can. what can i learn? what can i see? what happened here? how do i feel? and remembering that one experience does not label the whole culture...and even if it did, really, ive had so many amazing occurences, that one makes no difference. :)
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